Embracing This New Life:
Understanding What Your Baby is Feeling on the Outside
As parents, you eagerly wait for the arrival of your new baby. You’ve prepared the nursery. You’ve washed all the clothes. You have taken a childbirth class! But have you stopped to think about what life is like for your baby on the INSIDE of your belly?
What is going on in there?
Think about what they are hearing. The sounds of your digestive system, your heartbeat, your voice, your laugh, the barking of your dog, your partner. It’s not quiet in there. If you don’t believe me, lay your head on your partner’s stomach after they have eaten a meal.
Think about what they see. It’s probably dim lighting.
Think about what they are feeling. It’s warm, and confined, they are naked. They have a 24/7 tap to food and nutrition. The temperature is just perfect at all times.
When are babies most active? Probably when you are lying down in bed or sitting down. The constant sway of your movement is soothing and puts them to sleep.
What happens on the outside?
Now think about how jarring life can be on the outside. All of a sudden, life is super bright. Bright lights, bright sun. The soothing movements of you walking have stopped and they are still. They have clothes on them and a diaper that feels weird. They have this sensation they have never felt before: hunger…and pooping! How intense that must feel for them. They see all these different faces and hear different voices and they aren’t used to it. They are used to hearing mom and dad. It can be overwhelming.
How to ease their transition?
We call it the Fourth Trimester. It’s the 3 months after your baby is born where they still need to be attached to you. You are their comfort. They want to be in your arms, listening to your voice and heartbeat, skin to skin. They aren’t being spoiled, they are being loved and comforted. The only way they know how to communicate is to cry. They have not figured out how to self soothe yet. They need mom and dad to respond to their cries for help. Keeping your baby close can cut down on their cries and you’ll be able to better hear the differences in their cries. They communicate better than you think.
Give yourself grace.
You are learning how to be a parent at the same time your baby is learning how to be a baby. Give each other grace and understanding. You might be dealing with postpartum hormones, bleeding, sleep deprivation, and overwhelming feelings. Take a step back and give yourself a break if you need to. But also know your baby is dealing with some pretty overwhelming feelings too.
Bringing a new baby into the world can be a fun and exciting experience. It can also be overwhelming and frustrating. Embrace this journey and give yourself and your baby grace. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed and unsure at times. Your resilience and perseverance will create a bond with your baby that will last a lifetime. Cherish these moments with your newborn.